getting dressed

I am the mom. I am not a fashion model. Nor do I always know what shirt goes with which pants. Do not ask me for fashion advice, as I am not a fashionista. I used to follow what was hot and what was not, know which collections were amazing and even the names of some of the photographers. Not anymore. Now I dress for comfort, not for speed. I own more running shoes than heeled shoes, and cannot think of a single item of clothing I have purchased in the last eight years that has not been primarily involved in the care and raising of small children. I am not complaining, just stating a fact.

It is only fair that my children reflect this disinterest in fashion back at me. From the time they are old enough to choose their own clothes, they do. I really care only that they are dressed when they go out the door.

I prefer that the school aged one wear his clothes right side out, but I don't always see that they aren't before he goes out the door. So it goes (God, I love Kurt Vonnegut). I know how cruel children can be and would spare DS that. Then again, his tags don't hurt him when they aren't touching him.

I prefer that their genitals be covered by panties or tights when we are out, but sometimes the girls are commando because they are wearing pants and therefore covered. Can't really argue the logic. DS will wear jockeys under his pj's since the incident with the zipper. Use your imagination.

I try to avoid upsetting stomachs with clashes in fabrics and patterns, buying in certain colour families to harmonize the children's clothes, but when it comes to hand-me-downs and gifts, I'm certainly not going to throw them away. Some gifts may spend their lifetime packed in a box until they have been outgrown, so I don't have to worry about sunburns from spaghetti straps or blisters from poor fit. The kids pick out their own clothes. It's an easy battle to not have to fight.

Obviously, I don't police their clothing choices that much. I do have some controls though-nothing that I wouldn't wear. For example, 4 YO DD gets a tankini, not a bikini. She's FOUR! Four year olds are not sexual objects. No short shorts for any of them. Eww. If you don't want to picture me wearing it, it's really not suitable for a child. Now get the image of an overweight almost forty year old with cottage cheese legs wearing hot pink short shorts out of your head! HA!

I have decided that this will be my strategy when the children are older. You wanna go goth? emo? metal? wear your ass hanging out of your jeans? I'll dress just like you OUT IN PUBLIC. I don't care about looking like a fool, but as a teenager, you might not appreciate having a fifty some year old dressing your age. That's my plan. Think it'll work?

the nose

In our house, we have problems with nose picking. We all suffer from seasonal allergies and well, it just makes for some booger issues.

At dinner yesterday, looked over at DS(7) and he had a finger up each nostril, chewing.
"Get your fingers out of your nose!"

"I just wanted to see if I could chew with my nose plugged."

Trying very hard to control ourselves, snickering and snorting madly, hiding our faces until we could clearly respond, "And could you chew with your nose plugged?"

"Yes, but it is very hard to swallow."

Oh the things you learn at the dinner table. At least we were at home and not out to dinner with someone we were trying to impress:)